Tuesday, September 20, 2011

escort service

Disclaimer - If you're a woman over 40 or who has had at least 3 children, go take a quick bathroom break.  You'll thank me later.  If you're over 40 AND given birth to at least 3 kids, you'll really, really thank me.  I promise
I'll wait...

True story.
I just finished my evening walk.  I saw the strangest thing.
A bright purple pick-up with a big sign on it's side "ESCORT SERVICE".
Now imagine all these thoughts rapidly screaming through my head -
"WHAT?! 
THIS IS SMALL TOWN AMERICA!
IN THE BIBLE BELT, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.
SERVICES LIKE THAT ARE ILLEGAL HERE!!"
I sure hope all those thoughts stayed inside my head.
I was so thankful my kids weren't with me.  I wouldn't want to explain what an escort service is.

I always imagined an escort service would be a 1970ish black, low riding Cadillac with shiny silver rims. 
And loud bass beats. 
Lots of silver chains and a black hat on the driver. 
I thought they came out only after dark.  This was broad daylight.
This sure didn't look like what I imagined an escort service to look like.

As the pick-up went by, I noticed this sign on the tailgate - "OVERSIZE LOAD".
Wow!
I've been known to hit a man for a kinder comment about his date's size.
That's simply rude and inappropriate.
I couldn't decide if I was more appalled or offended. 
Speechless, really.

But then I noticed the yellow lights on top of the pick-up.

Oh, THAT kind of escort service.
(This is not an actual photo of the pick-up.  I didn't have my wits about me to take a picture.)

In my defense, there was no oversized load in front of or behind the pick-up.
His lights weren't flashing.
He was obviously off duty.

You're laughing with me, not at me, right?  Promise?!
True story.  I couldn't make up something that good.  :)

4 comments:

Mitch said...

Once again-my baby's most funny when not trying to be...

Beki said...

Bahahaha!!!

Margo said...

Oh my - thanks for this!! I work in the hotel lodging business and a lot of our customers are in the escort business and when I first started working here I had the same thoughts you did- my co-workers chuckled at me, but I think all of the new employees here go through the same thing - we all wonder what kind of buiness we got into!

Jennifer said...

So innocent sounding. You make me laugh - can't wait to share it with the girls I work with. I really LOVE the sign at the bottom - need to make a copy of that for work - better yet - I will have Amy make one.